Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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