i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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