covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
