Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize