I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
