so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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