piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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