mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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