i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
