Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
