How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
