I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
