You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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