Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
