oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
