there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
