Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
