Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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