Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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