There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize