I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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