You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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