yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
