Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
