she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
