This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
