The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
