you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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