Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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