I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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