I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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