Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
