Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
