it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
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If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
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I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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