and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize