They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
All the doctor said was why
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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