i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
