Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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