it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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