i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
