i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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