So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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