It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
tell me about the eggs
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
