we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
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a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
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It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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