I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is that strawberry winking at me??
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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