Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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