Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize