My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My dick has a subreddit
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
