I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Vodka?
Forever.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
