I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
