If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
