NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
