It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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