i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
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I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
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I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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