yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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