spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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