Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
