tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
