Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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