fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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