i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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