She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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