we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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