my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
