when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
