Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
