so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
