we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
