how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
