she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
