My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
